Table of Contents
- 1 What is selfishness
- 2 What are the traits of selfish people?
- 2.1 They are Good Manipulators
- 2.2 They are always uncaring.
- 2.3 They plot and scheme against others.
- 2.4 They do not show weakness and vulnerability.
- 2.5 They do not accept corrections and criticism.
- 2.6 Excessively Active
- 2.7 They criticize and say bad things about people behind their backs
- 2.8 They overemphasize their achievements.
- 3 How to deal with selfish people
What are the traits of selfish people? People exhibit various characters and selfishness is one. Many times selfish people do not know they are selfish or exhibit such traits. We have selfless people also who work for themselves and others.
Selfish people may not be naturally harmful or destructive, but they put their interests above others’ convenience. They believe they are getting the best possible result for themselves at that particular point in time. Most assume they are friendly and approachable, but they prioritize their happiness more than anything else.
On their journey to happiness, they hurt others’ emotions and walk over people intentionally or carelessly. We sometimes want to get an assignment or task done by all mean without considering how badly it affects others directly or indirectly.
What is selfishness
Selfishness is the act of being excessively concerned for one’s advantage (gain or pleasure) or oneself without considering others. Selfishness can also be called self-centeredness. Selfishness is the direct opposite of Selflessness or Altruism.
Selfish individual only cares about themself. And everything they get involved in must always pass through or by them.
Albert Einstein famously said, “Humans are selfish in nature.”
This is true because everyone will look out for themselves naturally before any other person or person’s interest. Selfishness has done a lot of harm to our society. It has brought a lot of negative things in government, religious, economic, and psychological sectors. One of the significant roots of selfishness is the lack of empathy.
Selfish people exhibit similar traits, which are noticeable. These traits might not be evident before relating with them, but they show forth with time.
According to an expert, selfish characters can be defined in two simple ways:
Excessively concerned with oneself
Having no regard for others’ feelings or needs.
In every relationship (Platonic or Romantic), individuals involved must give and take equivalent measures. But it’s usually the other way round when a selfish person is involved. A selfish individual will always take and give back little or nothing. They do not see reasons why they should reciprocate.
What are the traits of selfish people?
They are Good Manipulators
Selfish people are good manipulators of other people. They only care about getting their jobs and tasks done, so they play on others’ intelligence to get whatever they want.
Manipulative people are always right about everything, and they do not blame themselves for any wrongs. They are skilled in winning the heart of people to use them to their advantage.
A manipulative individual believes that the only way of handling a situation is theirs because it will satisfy their emotional and physical needs.
Being manipulative is a skill, and people consciously and unconsciously develop and master it with time.
A selfish person can manipulate someone to make them believe they need them the most and do not need them in return.
Be observant at every point in time and watch out for manipulators.
One of the easiest ways to identify manipulators is their reactions to your ‘NO.’ A manipulative person is only happy whenever you say ‘yes to them, but angry and offensive when you say ‘no.’
They are always uncaring.
Selfish people are always uncaring and ignore other people’s needs.
An expert, Timothy J. Legg, said: If you’re angry, a selfish person may try to make you feel guilty for your feelings.”
A selfish person is always in a relationship for self-purpose, so they may not care about others’ feelings.
A selfish person will wrong the partner and also make them feel guilty for the wrong they did. Once you notice you are in a kind of relationship like this, you need to take guard.
They plot and scheme against others.
A selfish person will always want their plans and opinions to be used in any organization they find themselves in. They plot and scheme against any opinion that is against theirs.
A selfish individual will get offended when things don’t go the way they want them. They become an antagonist to the plan and actions on the ground.
They do not show weakness and vulnerability.
Anytime a selfish person wants to get involved with other people, they are usually scared of showing their weakness(es).
Since everything about them is self-centered, they tend not to do things for free but at a price. This is because a selfish person won’t engage in anything that doesn’t help or serve their purpose.
A selfish person will see helping others as a weakness or insecurity. This attitude helps them to cover their weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
Beware of people who always expect something in return for every help they offer.
They do not accept corrections and criticism.
A selfish individual has a huge ego that will not let them accept corrections and criticisms. They are always annoyed when others fail to imagine things their way.
A selfish person is not emotionally capable of handling criticism because they feel they are always right and do what’s best for that moment.
Anytime a selfish person is corrected or criticized, the only thing they will think of is that the critics are trying to devalue their actions and potentials.
Selfish people find it difficult to accept their wrongs; they will have excuses and things to blame for their mistakes.
Selfish people are usually excessively active whenever they get to a new place. This is a pretense act to get the attention and win the heart of many towards them.
Not all hyperactive individuals are selfish people; some people are hyperactive naturally and selfless.
But this trait must be watched in people with other traits listed here to conclude. This will help you not to fall for pretense.
They criticize and say bad things about people behind their backs
Selfish people like to badmouth other people behind their backs. They like making first-time judgments about people.
They may even pass judgment on people they are not even close with based on their feelings and thoughts.
Selfish people do this because they feel they are better than others.
They overemphasize their achievements.
Selfish people lack humility. So they will look for simple ways to stand out from others by exaggerating their achievements.
They get jealous of other people’s achievements and, in turn, hate them for no tangible reason.
How to deal with selfish people
Stand up and be firm.
One of the things that a selfish person hates is others standing against them. Selfish people always operate by suppressing the wishes and desires of others.
When dealing with a selfish person, please do not shy away and accept everything they plan or tell you. Stand firm with your idea and make sure to carry it out, and take responsibility.
Withdraw your attention
Selfish people always want all attention to themselves. Try and reduce the attention you give to them.
Selfish people constantly crave attention from others, and with sympathy, they’ll always play to be the victim.
Try as much as possible to avoid them.
Do what interests you and not what interests them.
Most selfish people want other people to engage in activities that interest them. You might not see them actively involved in activities proposed by others.
One of the best ways to deal with selfish people is identifying the thing(s) that interest you personally. Focus your energy and time on these things and not what is based on the interest of another person.
This helps not only in dealing with selfish people but also in building oneself.
A selfish person loves to talk about him or herself, and most times don’t give room for a two-way conversation.
Always be mindful not to things like that happen.
Stop making all of their demands.
A way to gain freedom from an oppressor is to stop making all their demands. The truth is a selfish person won’t do anything they won’t be gaining from.
Making them realize that you know what they are doing and stop is an excellent way to deal with a selfish person.
Never be like them
In a bid to stop being manipulated and used by a selfish person, one has to be sensitive, not become like them. Being selfish is usually frustrating and dangerous.
On the other hand, being selfless is peaceful and earns you a lot of respect and recommendations.
Finally, a selfish person will always put their happiness before anyone else, so be careful and be observant. A relationship with a narcissistic person will only bring pain and regrets.