We all have encountered and experienced difficult times in life. However, some do it better than others. They have designed their life like a pro. So what’s their secret? How can you design your own life like them?

There is one thing that makes successful people different from others; they are black sheep. They are forward thinkers. Thus they design their own life.

 Here are 13 points to keep in purpose before designing your own life.

1. What’s going on?

The Buddha has a famous saying: “Your own resistance to what happens around you creates your suffering.” Take a moment to think about this. It means our suffering only happens when we try to resist the nature of things. If you can change anything, take action now! Change it! But if you can’t change it, you have two choices: either accept it and let it go, or you can make life miserable and obsessed with it.

2. It is only you who can design your life.

In many cases, we are our most dangerous enemies. If you think something is a problem, your thoughts and feelings will become negative. But if you think you can learn from it, it won’t be a problem right away.

3. If you want things to evolve, you need to start by evolving yourself.

Words are the reflection of your inner world. Did you not know that everyone in the world is in chaos and stress? And isn’t it a big deal because their hearts are in turmoil? Yes, that was it. We like the thought that a change of circumstances will change people. But looking in the opposite direction – we need to change ourselves before conditions change.

4. No failure – only learning opportunities.

You should immediately remove the word “the defeat” from your dictionary. All the great people who have achieved any accomplishment have failed again and again. In fact, I remember Thomas Edison saying something like this: I don’t fail 10,000 times, I only know 10,000 ways it doesn’t work”. Embrace your so-called failure” and learn from it. This is an essential part of designing your life.

5. If you don’t get what you want, that means something better is coming.

I know that this is sometimes hard to believe. But it is true. Often when you look back on your life, you will see why something that doesn’t work is sometimes a good thing. The job you did not get may take away a lot of your family time, but the job you received gave you a more flexible time fund. Believe that everything happens the exact way it is supposed to happen.

6. Cherish the present moment else you will not be able to design your life. 

design your life

This moment will never come back, and every moment contains something precious. So don’t let it go without you noticing! It will soon be just a memory. Every moment that is not fun but someday looking back, you will miss them. Like the lyrics of a country song by Trace Akins, “You’ll remember this … You’ll want this to come back. You’ll wish these days didn’t go by so fast … Now maybe You don’t know, but one day you’ll remember it … “

7. Give up your desires.

Most people live with “close thoughts.” This means that they attach themselves to their desires, and when they fail, their emotions drop to pessimism. Instead, try to practice an “independent thought.” This means that when you want something, you’ll still be happy whether you achieve it or not. You always have the feeling of being happy or at least healthy.

8. Understand and appreciate fears.

Fear can be a teacher. And overcoming fears can even make you feel the taste of victory. For instance, when I was in college, I was afraid to speak in public (one of the three fears of everyone). So now, I find it humorous that I not only talk in front of a group of people every day as a lecturer, but I also teach public speaking! We just need to practice to overcome fear. Fear is really an illusion. It depends on each person.

9. Allow yourself to experience joy while designing your new life.

You may believe it or not, but I know a lot of people who don’t have the privilege of enjoying themselves. And they don’t yet know how to be happy. Many people attach themselves so tightly to their problems and chaos that they can’t even know who they would be without them. So try to allow yourself to enjoy the happiness! Also, if it’s just a brief moment, it’s essential to focus on joy instead of your hardships.

10. Don’t compare yourself with others

But if you can compare yourself, compare yourself to people who are inferior to you. Are you unemployed? Be grateful that you are living in a country with unemployment benefits (US context) because most people in the world live on fewer than $ 750 a year. So, what if you are not like Angelina Jolie? I bet more people are not like her. And you certainly look better than many people. Focus on that.

11. You are not a victim.

You need to get out of your way. You are just a “victim” of your own thoughts, words, actions. Nobody does anything to you. With such negative thoughts in your mind, you will surely design a toxic life ahead. You are the one who created your own experience. Take responsibility for yourself and realize that you can’t go through difficult times. You just need to start by changing your thoughts and actions. Give up the victim mentality and become the winner. From victim to WINNER.

12. Everything can change and always improve.

“And this will pass quickly” is one of my favorite sayings. When we get stuck in a bad situation, we think there is no way out. We believe there will be nothing. But guess what? It will change! Nothing is constant except death, so get out of the way of thinking that things will always be like this. But you need to do something to change everything, and it won’t happen miraculously. With this thought, the life you design will be peaceful for you. 

13. Everything is possible.

Miracles happen every day. It is really like that. I wish there was enough space for me to write down the miracles that happen to people I know – from curing stage 4 cancer naturally to seeing your soulmate appear from somewhere. Trust me: things like this happen all day. You just need to believe it will happen. Once you do so, you will win the match. So when you are designing your life, leave some space to be filled with miracles. Do this! You will not regret it. 

Congrats! You are Forward Thinker- Join Black Sheep community.

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If you have reached this article, you are surely a forward thinker. And black sheep is a community for people like you. It is an online community in which you can meet like-minded people. You can also avail of the opportunities to share your thoughts with the future-forward thinkers. 

It is like your online home. And I bet you will feel it.

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