Assertive Communication Using Proven Assertiveness techniques

Assertive Communication Using Proven Assertiveness techniques

You need to learn Assertiveness techniques if you want to master the Assertive communication. It is as simple as that. People with an assertive way of thinking know that they have rights, but at the same time, they realize that other people also have the right to do so.

Assertiveness with Assertiveness techniques is the ability to convey your thoughts, opinions, needs, and feelings in a direct, frank, and proper manner. This means to assert their rights and not to offend the sensibilities of other people and not to deny their rights. When you are assertive, you take control of your life completely.

Around other people, we choose one of three styles of behavior: passive, aggressive, or assertive.

Passive style

People with a passive style tend to put other people’s priorities and needs above their own. They do not believe that they are worthy of defending their rights and feel inferior.

Passive people think that being assertive is too hard, while their style opens up new horizons for them. They feel (usually subconsciously) that they are weak, incompetent, and therefore do not dare to make any decisions in their life.

People choose a passive style of behaviour when they consider that it is better not to enter and not to provoke conflicts, although such a strategy rarely works. They are not respected; they are treated with pity. All this, in combination, leads to a drop in self-esteem, depression, stress, and victim syndrome.

Body language of passive people:

  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Shift from one foot to the other.
  • Hump.
  • Hold the body while talking.

Aggressive style

People with aggressive behaviors seek enemies around them, enter into conflicts, and assert their rights in an overly harsh manner. Aggression infringes on the rights of others. They tend to compete with people and every day to prove their worth as individuals. They beat out respect and self-interest from others.

This style of behavior is outdated and does not work even where it flourished – in business. These people are rude, ignorant, and have low communication skills. They are not able to build relationships based on love and respect, but mainly on fear.

Body language of aggressive people:

  • Point with a finger at the interlocutor.
  • Scream or raise your voice.
  • Clench your fists.
  • Too lean over towards the other person and look into his eyes for a long time.

Assertive style

Assertive people make contact with the feelings and emotions of other people and, therefore, can criticize, ask, or even complain delicately.

They are flexible; therefore, each situation is considered individually, in contrast to aggressive people. They are respected and appreciated, and they are in full control of their lives.

Even though their own thoughts and feelings might be difficult, they maintain to have mental and emotional space for both the other and themselves. That seems to be the key here.

Body language of assertive people:

  • Stand straight and steady, face to face to the other person.
  • Maintain unobtrusive eye contact.
  • Speak confidently and clearly – loudly enough for everyone to hear their words.
  • Speak fluently, without hesitation and with confidence in the voice.

To develop an assertive style of behavior, here are the Assertiveness techniques that you have to follow.

1. Set inspiring goals

This is one of the first Assertiveness techniques that we have totake care of. Now that you have realized the importance of assertiveness, it is essential to identify the areas of life that are most significant for you in which you can apply a new style of behaviour.

Identify the situations that you find most challenging. When do you need to be assertive? State them clearly. For example: “I would like my friend/colleague not to be late for meetings and appreciate my time. “Maybe you feel you already have this box ‘checked’. In that case: look again at the question. In what field of your life, would you benefit from more assertive behaviour? 

Start with the most straightforward goals, then move on to the tricky ones.

2. Breath in your Rights

Let’s be honest, what comes in your mind while thinking of Assertiveness techniques? You may have to consult the definition for that.
The following list of rights is essential to you as well as to other people. The list items are not exhaustive. You can add to it.

I have the right to

  • refuse to solve the problems of other people.
  • change my mind.
  • make mistakes.
  • say, “I do not know.”
  • make my own decision.
  • say, “I do not understand.”
  • say no.
  • be joyful or sad.
  • set my priorities.
  • take the initiative.

Be careful with this list, because your passive style of behavior (if you have one) can quickly become aggressive. People love extremes. As we noticed, in a bold form of action, there are no advantages, not even from a passive one.

Also, remember that all your actions are based on the subtle arts of living. For example, if you decide that you have the right to change your mind, then apologize to the person who was given the word to spend the evening with him. Your right to refuse something does not mean that you are now becoming an irresponsible person. And if you decide that you have the right to make mistakes, this does not mean that you should not draw conclusions and do not bear responsibility for them.

You have the right to say no, but everything depends entirely on the situation. You are never obliged to do anything what so ever. Yet, your responsibility in a relationship differs per context. Maybe you decide not to buy something in a store after a consultant spent his time and energy in a dialogue with you. Then your ‘no’ is assertively accommodated by different behaviour compared to the situation you decide not to visit your father’s birthday party. Either way your ‘no’ is ok. Assertiveness is about owning that right within the relationship, instead of off doing it harm with your answer or choice.

3. Reflect on the experience of your personal rights

Using the list above, write down a statement that conveys your most valuable rights.

Go back to setting your goals and apply your statement. For instance:

  • Goal 1: __. What are my rights in this situation? Do I feel like my rights are violated? If so, how come? What is my share in that feeling? And, with what behaviour can I reclaim my sense of having that right? (Because essentially it can not be taking away from you.)

Answer these questions for all of your goals.

4. Using Assertiveness techniques or strategies

Assertiveness is a skill that can be developed if Assertiveness techniques put into practice every day. Here are some of them:Broken record. Be persistent and repeat again and again what you want. Learn to do so without annoyance or raising your voice. Stick to your point of view and stay in contact with the other. This is a life-skill.

Free information. Learn to listen to the interlocutor and read the free information that he gives you. It will allow you to make arguments, referring to phrases expressed by your interlocutor.

Disclosure of Information. Assertively disclose information about you – about what you think, feel, and how you think about the information that comes from the interlocutor. To communicate that in a non-violent way is essential.


This technique will help cope with incoming criticism. Do not deny criticism and do not counterattack. Blackout is like stopping. It is not freezing. Moreover, it is to hold off any actions for a moment, and ‘be’ and ‘let be’ whatever happens for a while. By the time you will find reality inside and out is helping you there.

  • I agree with the truth. Find in criticism of what is right and agree with this particular part. There is no point in denying reality. Never. Always accept it. Only after that any other desired direction can be of any meaning.
  • I agree that there is a misunderstanding. Identify the possible truth in an explanatory statement and agree to this. However – do not stop there. This has to do with the connective powers of criticism. We run (free at the time of writing this) Mastery Classes on the power of criticism within the Black Sheep Community and you are welcome to be part of them.
  • Agree in principle. Say: “It makes sense.” This should be your basic attitude, because it allows for a better connection with reality. If your default responses to life’s happenings are cynical or basic refuting and discard, that causes a lot of unnecessary sufferings. 
  • Deny wrong conclusions. Assertively operate on inaccuracies and logical errors. This is possible when the relationship is good. Are you worried about the relationship? Or doubt whether it could stand your remarks? Remember that expressing them in the right way improves the relationship. And, moreover, connections that cannot bear truth are not worth worrying about or keeping. So your only and best option is to improve your connection.

5. Using Assertiveness techniques to say No

In the life of every person, there are situations where it is necessary to say no. If you do not learn to do this, then after some time, there will come a realization that not a single goal has been achieved, and that priorities have been violated. Remember that you have the right to say no, but do so delicately and respectfully.

Moreover, doing this effectively, you will find so much meaning in your conversations and you will manage your daily life with more love and strength every day. Yes, that is a big claim. And I would be willing to teach you more about the principle behind this. First, there are some concrete strategies here:

Use an assertive body language

Remember that self-confidence and the perception of your confidence as an interlocutor depends on your body language. Manipulators always apply their methods to a person who is considered indecisive. Even when it is done unconsciously. Make direct eye contact, keep your head straight, straighten your shoulders, relax your arms, speak confidently and calmly.

Determine your position before you say something

If you don’t know what your answer will be, you simply don’t have it. Decide what and how exactly you mean it. Do not use your turn to talk, to think. To think out loud is not a way of saying no. (It either is a way to hide or an activity for a different context.)

Wait for the request

Some people agree to action even before a request has been voiced. This is very convenient for the interlocutor because he does not feel any duty to reciprocate to you in any way. In the end, he has not asked for anything. You volunteered yourself. And this weakens both the relationship as the ‘goodness’ of the deed. The more implicit the give-take-balance is, the more it runs the risk of causes unhealthy relationships.

Find the exact wording

Think about how and what you say. Be accurate in your answer so that the person you are talking to does not have any doubts whether you are willing to fulfil his request. Your wording should not be long and ornate. Hiding in words, nor in silence has never truly helped any one.

Do not apologize if this is not necessary. An apology often puts you in a debtor position. This example is commonly used in sales. Moreover, an untruthful apology within a human connection always pays the price of loss of autonomy for all. If you feel that you are being manipulated, do not apologize. 

Do not defend yourself if this is not necessary

Do not say why you do not want to fulfil the request; otherwise, the interlocutor will have the opportunity to manipulate your words. Feel the power of your silence after your ‘no’. (And it provides you with the opportunity to actually see whether the damage you feared is as bad as you thought it would be. You can then ‘open-up’, so to speak.)

Do not ask permission to say no

“You are not opposed if I refuse your offer” is another phrase that puts you in the position of a debtor. You decide. Not reality. Nor the other person. Yes, no needs to be expressed carefully in order to make your life-force stronger. (We run the course ‘Connective powers of criticism’ within the Black Sheep Community, free in times of writing. Join it, when this all speaks to you.)

Strengthen your position

Do not think that a person after refusal will not ask you for service again after some time. Let him know (if that is the case) that in the future you will reconsider or refuse the request again. Also, inform him whether you would like him to take initiative to do so, or you will do that yourself. All ‘moves’ like that strengthen your position.

Broken record

This strategy is ideal for this case of saying ‘no’. Repeat the same phrase without changing any words in it. This works even better when you manage to do so without raising your voice or expressing any kind of annoyance or shy-ness.

Do not wait for approval

You should not convince the other person to accept your refusal. It is not up to him. You decide. Autonomy is an action available to all, not a quality some happen to have and others don’t. Otherwise, you will again fall into the position of the debtor. And giving in once more already creates the beginning of the next situation.

Accept the consequences

You have the right to say no, and the other person has the right to treat your refusal as he sees fit. There may be unpleasant consequences, but come to terms with this since you have already made a decision. Autonomy brings a lot more than an apparently nice moment that actually contains more lies and unhappiness. You should choose truth with a little discomfort overlies with simply fake-smiles.

Learn Assertiveness techniques with Black Sheep Community

If you have read the article until now, you are extremely interested in learning assertive communication. The Black Sheep community is the right platform to get started. And this is not it. At Black Sheep you will meet with the future though leaders who are usually known as the black sheep of the society. Don’t you like to talk to the like-minded people across the globe? Contact Now.

Why Thought Withdrawal is bad for our planet

Why Thought Withdrawal is bad for our planet

What Is Thought Withdrawal?

Thought withdrawal is not a concept that is widely known. However, if you are someone who is trying to pursue thought leadership and cultivating your brain power, then it is something you should be aware about. Over the years of evolution, the human brain has also undergone several changes to be where it is today.

The human brain is an instrument that has been amended over thousands of years. And has reached its current stage through thousands of years of evolution. Human beings have a superior tool. We use our brains to think and cultivate ideas and have been doing so for over millennia. However, in this day and age, we find ourselves becoming complacent.

Instead of churning out new ideas and being the visionaries, we should be because of our capacity to think freely. We have become mere cogs in the wheels of the world. People do not think more than they have to. People actively choose things that require the least amount of effort; we have become creatures of comfort.

And this is precisely why thought withdrawal has started occurring at such a staggering rate. We refuse to think and use our brains to their full potential! We would instead let others think while we use as little brain power as we can, and honestly. It is a shame.

In this day and age, where people consider thinking as a chore. It can be even harder for thought leaders to emerge and prosper. When people are taught not to be inquisitive, to take the easy way out, and look for convenience. They will rarely ever use their brains to think beyond what is the bare necessity for survival.

We heat up the pre-prepared meals, we use our phones to hail a vehicle. We order groceries while sitting in our lounging chairs at home. Everything is there to be as convenient as possible. And this is where thought withdrawal has begun to seep into our everyday lives. We would rather not think and let others do the heavy mental lifting for us.  

Innovations in science do not happen on their own. They too have the genius of thought leaders behind them; people who are not afraid to experiment and think of ideas out of the ordinary. They dared to think beyond what was already there. The ideas which might have been abstract in the beginning but slowly manifested.

If we did not have those who shunned thought withdrawal and actively used their brains to think and ponder over various matters, we would not have succeeded in where we are as a human race. But now, we see that humans are getting to the point of stagnation. We do not see the same level of intellect amongst the masses, the same thirst for knowledge! We need to make sure that we do not get complacent and use our brains to its full potential.

If we don’t, the human race will lose what was solely unique to it! We will lose art, creativity, visionaries, and more. And without that, the human race, on the whole, will lose its soul.

Critical Thinking Skills And How To Develop Them: Answers-to-Questions Of Rejuvenating Thought

In a world where people are encouraged to think as little as possible, in a cultivated culture of convenience. It is necessary to break the mold. The first thing you have to do is unlearn convenience culture.

Once you go on a journey of trying to end thought withdrawal, you will realize just how deeply embedded it was in you without even realizing it. And how it affected your potential so much. You need to stop taking the easy way out, try to solve issues the old fashioned way. You will find that going to a grocery store and looking around and purchasing products physically itself can have a significant effect on your thinking. Being on your own in a new environment as you browse and make decisions is a great way to get the old noggin back in action!

Once you start doing this, you can gradually move on to doing brain teasers and puzzles; these are a great way to get your brain active. Contrary to popular belief, your brain needs just as much exercise as your body does!

Then you can move forward to unleashing your brain’s true potential by trying meditative techniques to control your thinking. Spend a few minutes every day in total silence. And let your mind go blank and slowly come back from that.

Once you start to engage your brain again and give it puzzles to solve, you will find that it will take you to new places and thoughts that you didn’t even realize you could have! The brain has limitless potential. Science has still not been able to figure out just what the brain is capable of, so do not sell yourself short; go the extra mile because you can!

Integrity in Leadership – How to Lead with Integrity

Integrity in Leadership – How to Lead with Integrity

Leaders need to have the quality of integrity, which means that their word has to be credible and sincere, and they have to show truthfulness to inspire their team. Integrity in leadership is a necessary factor to be considered. Communication is an essential part of leading with integrity. You need to make sure that the way you communicate is truthful, and your team members know that you have a trusting nature. Learning to lead with integrity requires the leader to have self-awareness, morality, and a sense of respect for his team. He should be able to be humble in the most crucial times, and learn to treat his team members equally!  

Here are a few steps that you can follow to ensure that you are leading with integrity: 

Analyze your Principals for Integrity in leadership

When you are working in a team, you will realize that people come from different backgrounds, have a different religious upbringing, and may influence each other differently. It is vital that you, as a leader, do not have a biased opinion about any topic and have an open mind. A liberal person makes a better leader. You need to be liberal with your team member’s behaviors and beliefs. You need to have an open mind when observing them. In cases of any personality or belief clashes, you must make them understand your point politely instead of imposing your beliefs on them.

Code of Conduct for Integrity in leadership

We always suggest that you need to promote a friendly environment as a leader. Still, even in a friendly atmosphere, you must have a set of rules and regulations that everyone is bound to follow, even you! The leaders themselves must follow the rules they make. You need to lead with an example, and that is the most fruitful way to inspire your teammates. This is another way to earn the respect of your teammates!

Build an Open Atmosphere for Integrity in leadership

You need to communicate with your team members about the policies or issues that lower their efficiency of work. If you’re unable to diminish these policies, you need to show them that you are trying to make an effort to help them out. It is important to gain the confidence of your team members. Try not to keep any secrets from them or hide any information. It will only make you look bad in their eyes.

You need to listen to everyone’s opinion attentively, and you need to make sure that there is healthy communication between all the group members. Everyone equally participates so that nobody in the team feels that they have no voice. You need to create an environment that boosts sharing and healthy brainstorming.

When you have the burden of handling so many people at the same time, you may become irritated when things do not go your way. This is the most challenging part.  You need to practice tolerance and be patient! You will lose your integrity if you start ridiculing them and rejecting their ideas!

Acknowledge Contributions 

Your team must realize that if they work hard, their leader will be there to acknowledge their work! To do this, you need to have an eye out for the hard workers in your team and for the employees who make an extra effort by going the extra mile for their work. You need to spot these team members and reward them. You can award these high-quality performers by giving them a bonus or even appreciating them in front of the entire office. This boosts their morale, and it motivates other employees to work hard when they see that it is appreciated.

Study other Leaders 

We believe that you lean most with your personal experience, but you always learn from other people’s mistakes and successes!  

You can get inspired by the leaders who chose honesty over financial gains or the leaders who lead their people to success. Who decided to take credit for other people’s work and were a real inspiration for their team members!

Moreover, you can study the failures of leaders and learn not to make mistakes as they did. You can create hypothetical situations for yourselves, similar to theirs, and analyze your moves. This way, you will be prepared on how to handle such situations before they happen.

In the end, we will suggest you not to sacrifice your integrity for power and money. Inspiring people to be better is always more liberating! 

Guidelines on the Art of Dealing with People

Guidelines on the Art of Dealing with People

You may have come across many books, blogs, and articles trying to educate you about leading and dealing with people. Many times you would have found them useful, but other times they were just a waste of time as none of the tools worked for you. The art of dealing with people is a complicated yet straightforward job. Why? Maybe because humans are the most complicated creatures in the world. It may seem like an ordinary job as we deal with humans daily, but leading a group of people can be more robust than you think. There are no specific guidelines, nor every organization functions in the same way. The art of leading and dealing with people lies in skillfully relating to them.

You need to understand and relate to each person in your team! They might be from different backgrounds, have different cultures or languages, and that would make the task even more difficult. But a true leader makes their teammates believe that they belong, and to make that happen, you need to put yourself in their shoes. Moreover, you need to understand that each person has their capability and capacity.  You need to analyze them separately and use a different strategy for each one of them!

For example, you need to differentiate between the people who are motivated by criticism and the people who demotivated by it. Some people work better when they are given positive reinforcements such as awards and promotions. Some people have to be challenged so that they can work to their full ability. A good leader needs to understand the physiological motivation of each person in their team. So, to be a successful leader, you need to handle human interactions and relations with your team in a perfect way!

Here is a list of some guidelines that will help you in your journey to becoming a good and influential leader. You may make mistakes in the beginning and may learn slowly, but if you remain dedicated to your goal someday, you will master them and become a true leader in your work field.  

Make them feel important 

You need to build a personal relationship with your team members so that they trust you. You need to make sure that you portray a trusting nature in front of them so that they can come to you when a problem strikes. Moreover, building a personal relationship will make them feel necessary in your organization. It is essential to make them feel that they belong and are not just an employee. They will work wholeheartedly when they think they are crucial rather than just an employee. If your team members believe ignored, their work efficiency will drop!

Appreciate Ideas to deal with people

When working in a team, you must put everyone as an equal, even yourself. When discussing new ideas, you must appreciate everyone on the base of their efforts and not the quality of their ideas. Your team should realize the importance of hard work and should be recognized when they work hard on new things. You need to learn to respect their ideas and opinions. For that, you will have to think according to their perspective. Instead of humiliating them, try to find a polite way of showing them, their work was not up to your expectations.

Accept Your Mistake to deal with people

All humans are bound to make mistakes, and in your tenure, even you will! When this time comes, instead of using your superior position to cover them up by blaming your teammates,  be more humble, and accept it in front of everyone. Your team members will learn to respect you; you’re modest! You will see that they will trust you more when they recognize you!

Awards and Punishments 

This is an essential part and the most difficult to achieve. You need to distinguish between what when to award your team members and when to give them a scolding. You need to understand which action will motivate them more! And you will see that every person has a different response to every effort. Some people tend to get demotivated when they are scolded; however, some people will take it as a challenge and give a better performance next time. The same is the case with rewards. Some people will get more efficient when they are rewarded. However, some people will develop a late back attitude when paid too much!

So to be a good leader, you need to learn the art of dealing and understanding different people so that you can act in a way that will bring out maximum productivity! 

Contact us.

The Duality of A Leader’s Nature

The Duality of A Leader’s Nature

So what is the duality of a leader’s nature?

You are sitting with your fellow black sheep. And you are deciding on the next course of action, and are faced with a problem. Half the members provide one solution, while the next half suggests another, and both are quite adamant about their beliefs. How do you resolve the tension?

Some situations require the calmness of rational thinking to find a feasible solution to problems. On the other hand, When there are human relations, emotions are beneficial in situations. While intellect helps make rational decisions, emotion appeals to sensitivity and human senses. The world has debated for long over the superiority of reason over emotion. There should be a balance between both when it comes to leadership qualities.

Master you Mind- Leader’s nature

An individual completely functioning on rational tends to make insensitive decisions. And entirely emotional decisions are almost immediately regretted as they interfere with judgment. Hence, to master your mindset as an astute leader. You must know when to apply which part of your mind and with what intensity.

It is wisest to rationally decide which solution is better, In order to settle the matter, your group is facing. While using emotion to pacify the situation and reminding them of the importance of unity.

Early philosophers such as Plato believes in the superiority of reason over emotion. Because it keeps the mind calm and collected. However, one cannot overlook the absolute necessity of emotions while handling humans capable of feeling. Emotion is more inherent to humans and makes them who they are. This is the reason to guide emotions to refine one’s decision-making skills. The human brain is designed to feel and think at the same time. So leaders cannot make decisions while keeping one isolated from the other.

Let’s take this opportunity to address the wisdom vs intelligence debate when it comes to leadership qualities. Intelligence measures the brilliance of an individual, while wisdom marks the person’s understanding of life and responsibilities. One might make a good leader being intelligent. But it is only a wise person who is excellent for leading people charged with energy and emotions.

The nature of management must be secure with foresight since a leader’s task is to guide and keep people together. Look at the bigger picture, the bigger purpose is to unite all black sheep and lead a revolution!

Is It Wrong to Design Your Own Life?

Is It Wrong to Design Your Own Life?

“The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” – Carl Jung

People don’t like differences in life. They wish for uniformity in society and want to label and categorize each person. Diversity is a threat to most people because it interferes with their classification of people, and forces them to accept differences – a concept people don’t like. Any person who stands out from the crowd is an outcast at work and among friends.

But who gives those people the authority to disregard differences you?

The reason why one is called out for being different is because s/he lets people define who they are. When a person doesn’t know who s/he is, then the world makes all (poor) attempts to do that job for them. Unfair, right?

People fear change because it brings a shift in their lifestyle and mindset, which puts them at discomfort. And that very change is brought about because of people with a rare vision. And these visionaries are the ones dethroning people with rigid thinking today.

Now when you go through your social media feed, you must see lots of people embracing their uniqueness by asserting their identity. Someone might sport vibrantly colored hair, or wear an eccentric outfit, speak in a different language, or bring fresh ideas to the table. And each one of them is proud of what they do. How amazing is that!

Mental flexibility in life

As a reaction to the general public’s intolerance to difference, the 21st-century’s ‘black sheep’ are taking a stand for themselves. The globalized world has started to develop respect for those who are different in mind, body, and soul. The ones who cherish their uniqueness are making efforts to exert their own identity.  Meanwhile, they are also educating others on ‘how to be good at being different’. 

When a diverse collective rises, it requires a spokesperson for itself. This movement demands that potential leaders occupy the forefront. As much as the present time needs mental flexibility, it is also desperate for good leaders to create ripples in society. 

So instead of asking questions on how to not be a scapegoat, think about how to make the best out of your uniqueness.

If you are different, embrace it. 

If you have raging ideas in your head, nurture them. 

and If you want to change the world, lead it. 

Being an Outcast Is Better Than Being a Conformist

design your life

How many time have given up a dream? How often do you discard ideas in the fear that people will laugh at them? And how frequently do you blame yourself for thinking in a way that nobody else around you does?

It is a taboo in our society for standing out or being different. Disgrace or ridiculousness comes in the life of people having unique thinking patterns are but they achieve success ultimatly. So what is people’s obsession with ‘tradition’?

As much as people want to be ‘modern’ and welcoming of new ideas, they fail at letting go of tradition, which can become quite toxic when left ungoverned. Change and tradition don’t exactly go hand in hand, which gives rise to a number of problems to people who want to break free from the shackles of societal norms.

Fear in life

A lot of ideas are propagated in the name of tradition when people consciously or unconsciously follow fatal ideals. Earl Nightingale once said, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice; it is conformity”. Members of society often surrender to a norm without thinking about their validity or consequences in the long run. They either do it out of the fear of being left out or to uphold their so-called tradition.

Conformity is so internalized that people give up their identities and passions in a heartbeat just to save their membership in a community. The desire to fit in is so dangerous that people don’t realize they’re harming themselves by accepting something just to please others. Conformity kills authenticity and promotes passivity. 

You might not realize it, but you’re doing better than most people out there just by being a black sheep. You’re doing yourself a favor by rethinking your options before making a choice. Confirmation bias in decision making does not benefit an individual, but only contributes to maintaining uniformity of the community s/he is a part of. Instead of feeling like an outcast at work, you should be proud of yourself.

Then why is it that people conform? Because the challenge that accompanies rebellion is not everybody’s cup of tea.

The Black Sheep Community is for like-minded individuals not afraid to express their opinions. And those who do not fear being questioned are the ones who make great leaders. They possess the wisdom and understanding to face challenges lying ahead of them. Such leaders show resistance because they have answers to all the questions ‘tradition’ will throw at them. 

The Paradox of Success: How do I Know I Have Achieved It in my life?

We have conversations with strangers all the time. Sometimes we meet them on the train, while waiting for a bus, or while sitting on a park bench. Sometimes we only exchange pleasantries, and other times we have heart-to-heart earth-shattering conversations. 

Has any conversation ever made you introspect?

As much as we are influenced by people we know, we also pick up good things from strangers because we don’t know their flaws. In our short-lived conversations with strangers, we allow ourselves to look at life with new perspectives. And those words are the most impactful ones, don’t you agree?

So if a single individual manages to help you outsmart your own biases in a couple of minutes, imagine how much that person must have achieved in a lifetime! But that’s incorrect. That stranger probably didn’t have any motives to influence you. Nevertheless, that stranger becomes somebody you can and will never forget.

So how much credit is due to that stranger for changing your life?

So why is it that you fail at crediting yourself when it comes to your own actions? We as humans only look at the tiny details when it comes to counting our achievements. We seldom look at the bigger picture, which is a thousand times better than what we are looking at right now. The bigger picture could be changing somebody’s perspective, or giving them a new reason to look forward to a better life. It’s like introducing enlightenment to somebody’s life!

All you need to do is be a forward thinker when it comes to being a leader. The capacity to differentiate between right and wrong/ good and bad (Practical wisdom Aristotle) is perennial to leading change. As a leader, you don’t have to cause monumental revolutions to classify as successful. Impacting a single life in itself is a huge achievement. What’s best is that the person you positively transform will come in contact with others to share your words of wisdom in life. And gradually, your movement will be taken forward until it becomes immortal. 

Besides, who knows, you too could be somebody’s stranger in life.

360° Leadership Coaching for Black Sheep

A leader is often thought of as somebody who leads by staying ahead of everybody to represent the crowd. This image of a leader is incorrect and negatively impacts how such a responsible position. 

A representative is merely a spokesperson of a community or group of people who share the same viewpoints. S/he is just somebody among like-minded people who speaks on behalf of everybody and represents the community as one. 

As somebody who is willing to challenge tradition, a leader must possess qualities that help him/her keep all members of the group united. To be bold enough to speak and patient enough to listen are mandatory leadership skills required for this task. There are moments when there’s conflict in the group, and the forward-thinking skills of a leader can help pacify and solve the situation.

To lead is to guide, and guidance comes from knowledge and wisdom. Speaking up requires courage as well as a thorough understanding of what’s being discussed. A leader must learn to think critically to impart wisdom and understanding to others. 

Role of a leader in life

Since leading is a challenging task to handle, problem-solving tools and techniques come in handy during times of crisis. To locate a problem, to find out its causes, discuss its possible solutions. And to settle for the one solution that causes least damage are few of the key problem analysis techniques required to make sure that you make an efficient leader. 

The power of change in life is what drives a representative, with the aim of being achieving the goal of her/his community. If you are speaking up for your people, then you must know what you are standing for and do everything in your capacity to make that happen. To earn the faith of your community is also a part of the job as a leader. Loyalty gets people places.

And lastly, a leader needs an outsider perspective to carry out her/his tasks. Referring to the title of this blog, a leader needs to adopt a 360°perspective at things so that all the pros and cons are weighed equally while dealing with a matter. This flexible thinking ensures that all situations are properly assessed in the decision-making process.

Being a leader is not an easy task. And definitely isn’t for the ones who can’t take up arms against challenges. As a people’s representative, you must keep yourself last. For a leader addresses the crowd at its front but supports it from the end.

The Duality of A Leader’s Nature

You are sitting with your fellow black sheep deciding on the next course of action, and are faced with a problem. Half the members provide one solution, while the next half suggests another, and both are quite adamant about their beliefs. How do you resolve the tension?

Some situations require the calmness of rational thinking to find a feasible solution to problems. Emotions, on the other hand, are beneficial in situations where human relations are involved. While intellect helps make rational decisions, emotion appeals to sensitivity and human senses. The world has debated for long over the superiority of reason over emotion.

An individual completely functioning on rational tends to make insensitive decisions, and entirely emotional decisions are almost immediately regretted as they interfere with judgment. Hence, to master your mindset as an astute leader, you must know when to apply which part of your mind and with what intensity.

In order to settle the matter your group is facing, it is wisest to rationally decide which solution is better suited while using emotion to pacify the situation and reminding them of the importance of unity.

Early Philosophers

Early philosophers such as Plato believes in the superiority of reason over emotion because it keeps the mind calm and collected. However, one cannot overlook the absolute necessity of emotions while handling humans capable of feeling. Emotion is more inherent to humans and makes them who they are. The reason, on the other hand, is for emotions to refine one’s decision-making skills. The human brain is to feel and think at the same time, so leaders cannot make decisions while keeping one isolated from the other.

Let’s take this opportunity to address the wisdom vs intelligence debate when it comes to leadership qualities. Intelligence measures the brilliance of an individual, while wisdom marks the person’s understanding of life and responsibilities. One might make a good leader being intelligent, but it is only a wise person who is excellent for leading people charged with energy and emotions.
Since a leader’s task is to guide and keep people together, the nature of management must be secured with foresight. The bigger purpose is not to be forgotten: To unite all black sheep and lead a revolution!