A person with an assertive personality has a Self-assured and self-conscious temperament. There is a great variety of temperaments and personalities, which exist in human behavioral psychology. Such a kind of self-assurance in temperament and character resultantly produces the best kind of leaders for a nation. However, imperfection does exist in human nature. No one can claim complete perfection or adoption of certain highly ranked behavior in communication.
How are you as a person? Do you feel like you’re a go-getter, willing to take risks, and don’t mind stepping up to the plate when necessary? Or do you prefer to be more of a cautious listener? Assertive personalities are viewed as the go-getters, while passive personalities are looked at as the more cautious ones. But what do we really know about assertive personalities? How are they different from other types of personalities? And how can they help us to better lead our teams?
To make mistakes is human, and thus, humans may possess some chunks of personality traits in either type of personality. One of the misconceptions regarding the adoption of an assertive personality is that a person is born confident and assertive. That is surely a myth, as the traits of the assertive personality can be adopted over some time through tremendous efforts. However, some of the traits of an assertive personality do exist since birth in a person. Historically and observingly, this type of disposition is quite helpful in communication and negotiation.
Historically prominent people such as Pablo Picasso, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Indira Gandhi are all exemplary examples of assertive personalities in history. An assertive personality possesses a common set of chief characteristics that might vary from one person to another. But the major characteristics include:
Self-Assured, self-acquainted, self-conscious:
A person with an assertive personality knows their strengths and weaknesses. Their self-introspection strengthens their potential to cover up their weaknesses. They are never a victim of manipulation because of their awareness regarding themselves. Neither they are naïve enough to become a victim of someone’s boasting or buttering to take advantage of their strengths manipulatively. A person with an assertive personality has the caliber of gauging and scrutinizing themselves constantly. They spent a major chunk of their time on self-introspection.
The exploration and discoveries of self-interests make them more consistent and persistent in their pursued motives. They remain conscious of their conscience and never inhibit their intuitive calls from inside. He/she knows the inner click and can distinguish between right and wrong. Whereas, a person with a passive or aggressive personality hardly spares time for self-introspection. Those other personalities easily get distracted and messed up with their burning desires of pursuing aims and motives in life.
A person with an assertive personality knows well regarding the attainment of chasing dreams peacefully. Their self-acquainted nature makes them more inclined and determined when focusing on their dreams. For this reason, the self-introspected and self-confident stay calm and peaceful in pursuing their ambitions.
Assertive Personality holder as Effective communicators:
Assertive personality holders are effective communicators. The effectiveness of communication can be gauged from their eloquence of speech in communication. They never fall into unnecessary fights while arguing with a person. Their effectiveness can be gauged from the level of their utmost intelligence when pursuing a person in an argument. An aggressive person can become an easy victim of fights and disagreements.
Whereas, an assertive person maintains respect and boundaries when dealing with a personal grudge. It has been seen in aggressive people’s conversation that the parties fall into disagreements and fights over petty discussions. On the contrary, an assertive person has the intrinsic qualities of maintaining good relations besides arguing for personal rights. The relations of such a self-confident person grow rather than reaching a breaking point.
It has been seen in aggressive and passive personalities’ communication level, that the corresponding party is always disappointed with their favors. Whereas, an assertive person maintains their individuality after availing the benefits out of relations and communication. People never remain disappointed in such self-confident personalities.
Respectful toward self-rights and other’s rights:
An assertive person is always just regarding other rights as well as his/her rights. They are well acquainted and familiarized with other’s rights. Besides this, their persuasion and efforts towards getting their rights are made peacefully. The self-rights are availed in a manner that none of the other’s rights are snatched. An assertive personality always avoids those shortcuts of getting their due share of rights done by a manipulative personality.
They accept and value other’s rights and shares. The negligence toward other rights is not given by them unconsciously. Likewise, an assertive personality makes efforts to assist and support a weaker person by pursuing his/her rights in an upright manner. Resultantly, people around a person with an assertive personality never keep a grudge or grievances against him/her. The dealings are done so well on their behalf, that the people are happily convinced to deliver the due right and share of such a self-confident personality. The persuasion of their rights is never done aggressively by an asserter.
In a nutshell, an assertive personality has an upright attitude of convincing and pursuing their goals without offending anyone. Relationships of such people always have the quality of maintaining boundaries. A healthy relationship is one that sets boundaries of respect and space. Thus, a person with an assertive personality has the desired quality of maintaining boundaries with other people. Likewise, not only do they remain aware of his/her rights, but they also /she accepts and validates other’s rights in an upright manner.
Their feelings and thoughts are so eloquently expressed that the correspondent is not offended easily. The individuality and self-respect of such people always remain intact while demanding his/her rights from others. Though a passive person equally or more likely tends to sacrifice his/her need for others, still the acceptance and self-esteem of the assertive personality holder are more attractive to the people. In the same way, such a confident person can gain prominence among people for their highly professional emotional response toward others. Thus, an assertive personality can maintain respect in dealings and relationships.
5 Characteristics of an Assertive Person
Being assertive is all about respecting yourself and others without trampling on their rights. Some of the characteristics of assertive people are:
Assertive people have a sense of self-confidence. They know their boundaries, However, people who struggle with assertiveness often permit others to make decisions for themselves. So, to test your self-confidence level, ask yourself whether you are taking part in a particular activity because you are genuinely interested or it’s because some of your peers are doing it.
2. Respect the views of others:
Assertive people are confident about their stand and as such, they don’t feel the need to insult others for airing their opinions. You may be pro-life; and yet, as an assertive person, you will still be able to share your views strongly and disagree with abortion activists without insulting the other side personally.
3. Ability to draw the limit:
It’s not always possible to be on cordial terms with others. You may have come across some people who are prone to abuse or are bitter in their outlook. And, when you meet such people, there some forms of tension will be created. An assertive person will know the perfect time when to say “it’s enough” according to the situation. In simple terms, assertive people can draw a clear line, but without creating conflict.
4. Good listener:
It is quite common for couples to fight and some of them hardly have the time to listen to each other. The end result is that both sides end up without being heard. It is important to remember that assertive traits include being a good listener; good eye contact and the ability to reflect on what has been said to grab the actual meaning of the exchange of words.
5. Emotionally independent:
An assertive person is also able to tolerate and accept rejection. They don’t do things for the sake of receiving approval from their peers or co-workers. They do it to satisfy their professional goals, beliefs, and convictions. Yes, it’s true assertive people also would love acknowledgment from others, but even if they don’t get any; they never fall into the temptation to act against their principles.
When someone is born, he or she is born with the potential to be a leader. But the reality is, most people never develop the necessary traits to take them to the next level. So, what can you do to successfully develop your assertive personality? First of all, you need to understand its meaning. Assertiveness is a characteristic of the personality that can be described as a combination of two other personality traits: self-confidence and self-assertion.
Assertive personality plays a key role in being successful in life. It is a part of a manager’s personality, but it is not the primary one. It is a kind of leadership that goes beyond leadership skills.
According to the philosopher von Kisling, assertive personality is a character trait in which the person has an ability to control and manage his or her own emotions and feelings. It is an ability to assert one’s true identity and views.