We are in a world where we are actively involved in the path that we take. Our decisions decide the path to success or the path to failure. Everyone who will be successful in this life must have the ability to say no. We are in a world full of influence and impact from peers, society, and family members. It’s inevitable to escape pressure from these sects of people listed above because they directly impact our lives in one way or the other.
The ability to say no to some influence, action, or decision will take a man a long way in life. It is not very easy to say no because we have people around who do the same thing. That alone is enough to encourage us that we can do the same, but is it right? Does it go alongside the values that we stand for? Does it promote the values that we hold? Does it encourage or discourage others?
These questions and more are to be asked to confirm the validity of a decision before making it. So many people today have missed it with their inability to say no. Saying ‘NO’ is very difficult. This is because in the context of this article, what you are saying no to is what is in vogue. It’s something that is generally accepted, something that people usually are doing.
The fact that people are doing it doesn’t make it right. We have read stories of people who didn’t conform to the ways of life of their peers, families, or society. Opportunities come with juicy offers that can make us rush into making quick decisions. It might be on the issue of choosing what to do, where to work, and so on. There have been stories about people choosing where to work as a means of wanting to learn more over a place where they could get more money.
Do you know that if we were given opportunities to go back in time and remake some decisions, the majority of our decisions would be NO? Many people have regrets because they cannot say no. I recently stumbled on an article, “The blessing is not starting it.” The writer explained that people do so many bad things today that they know it is terrible, but to back out looks impossible.
The ability to say no makes our hearts more robust, although it’s not easy. It is easy for people to criticize and talk less of people because of the decisions that they have made, but I have come to understand that you must not blame people until you are in their shoes. Many people didn’t want to say yes, but the influence and circumstances surrounding them at that point look bigger than they could handle.
Why is the ability to say No important?
The ability to say ‘no’ means that you are strong enough to make the right decisions for yourself. Saying too many yeses makes you lose belief in yourself and the values you stand for. You cannot say Yes to everything and become successful. The ability to say ‘no’ gives you the power and strength in your mind to protect your values and priorities. We get hurt when we try to create a good image for ourselves when we ignore to say ‘no.’.In the business world, where you have to negotiate with people to strike a deal, if you are not firm with your NOs, you will be making great mistakes with heavy conditions and repercussions. In living a happy and healthy life, one must learn to say no.
As humans, we have been programmed to respect leaders or anybody above us in age, rank, or role. So often, we are inclined to saying Yes when they ask us to do anything for them. That’s our instinct; we say Yes to people like that for reasons which are well understood. We do these things even in situations that are not favorable. You become happier when you can muster the courage to say no. In most cases, the ability to say no is prioritizing what is essential and of value to you. The ability to say no brings about fulfillment and happiness even when things don’t look like it’s on our side.
As humble as we might claim or want to be, we must cultivate the habit of saying no.
Reasons why we say Yes always
Not wanting to offend others: Most of us have conditioned our hearts to agree to do things quickly, irrespective of how it makes us feel. We do it because we don’t want to offend others. Do you know that people tend to take advantage of us the more agreeable you become? This is not about being rebellious, for instance, in a workplace when your boss asks you to do something. We don’t want to offend people and push them to make decisions we will regret. An example of this is when a close acquaintance asks us to lend them some money; many people say yes even when they have to borrow.
Avoiding conflict: Avoiding conflict has been the main reason why some people always take an agreeing stance. Many people feel that saying yes doesn’t reduce or add to them rather than getting involved in contentious arguments. Taking your stand and making the person realize your reasons is the right way. It is up to them to believe it or not. You have done your part by making them see reason.
Become the people’s person (Favourite): We tend to say yes so that people can like and consider us for more excellent assignments in the future. We often want to please people, put a smile on their faces and create a good impression for ourselves. A YES YES life will lead to regrets.
Advantages of Saying No
Many times, when we find it difficult to say no, it’s not because we are not assertive. It is because we have to think about the options that we have and pick the best. We have a lot of advantages when we can say no; part of it will be discussed below.
- You have time for relevant and profitable things: You don’t have time to do your things when you say yes. When you say no, you protect your priorities and values. You are not engaged in someone else’s passion or dream. When we say yes, we are pushed by sympathy or respect to do things out of our will. It means that someone has control over your actions, and you are powerless about it. When you keep saying yes, you will find yourself pursuing other people’s dreams, neglecting yours.
- It helps you to set boundaries: You will be taken advantage of if you don’t learn to say no. If you say no to some things, people will think twice before offering you such a thing next time. The more you say no, the more classless things you ignore. You will be known for your Dos and Don’ts.
- It helps build confidence: The more you learn to say no, the more you become self-confident. Your ability to say no helps you to become less dependent on people. You care less about what their opinion is once your values and standard are protected.
- It helps to gain respect from others: Saying no draws respect for you. You don’t have to settle for less each time; speak up and say no. It makes people see what values you stand for. You have limits to unnecessary jokes and play that could lead to insults.
- It makes you be at peace: There are so many times when we do something, and we feel rejected in our minds, we don’t experience peace. We are at peace with ourselves rather than going extra length for people who won’t appreciate the effort when we say no.
- It helps build morale and dignity: At times, we may have enticing offers to do some things, but that is not right. Saying no helps to build morale and dignity. You know what? When you say Yes all the time, your moral conduct is at stake because you will say yes to bad things.
How to build or improve the ability to say No
- Don’t rush into making decisions
- Be determined
- Trust your instincts
- Provide alternatives
- Don’t feel guilty for saying no
- Make your intentions clear
- Be focused
- Don’t compromise your decisions on different occasions.
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